PATY IV: LIMITING BELIEFS AND HOW TO OVERCOME THEM

HOW CAN YOU QUESTION YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS USING THE SOCRATIC METHOD?

CATCH UP ON PART I, PART II AND PART III

HOW DO YOU QUESTION YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS USING THE SOCRATIC METHOD?

Now that you have identified your limiting beliefs and found out their root causes and learned about shifting your brain from Survive Mode to Thrive Mode and practised your five Sage powers, this week I will share with you a few exercises that will help you challenge limiting beliefs.

The next two exercises are based on Cognitive Behavior Therapy.

Take yourself through a reflection process to dismantle a limiting belief and open up new possibilities for yourself.

EXERCISE # 5: THE WORK BY BYRON KATIE

The Four Questions (FREE worksheet in the link) 15 min

Think of a limiting belief that is holding you back or bothering you.

Q1. Is it true?  (YES or NO)

Q2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (YES or NO)

Q3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?

Q4. Who would you be without that thought?

EXERCISE # 6: HOW TO CHALLENGE COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS? BY EMMA MCADAM

1. Notice and name: identify the cognitive distortions in your thinking

   a) All or nothing thinking (“if I can’t do it all perfectly, I won’t even try”) 

   b) Over generalising (using words like never, always, worst)

   c) Black & White thinking (No nuance)

   d) Mind reading (assuming you know how people feel or think about you)

   e) Catastrophizing (believing the worst case scenario in your head. You assume your prediction is fact =>leads to anxiety and hopelessness)

   f) Emotional reasoning (“I feel hurt, therefore  the other person is a jerk”)

   g) Labelling (turning a behaviour into an identity (“I made a mistake a mistake… I'm an idiot”)

   h) Mental filtering (seeing the negative side of a situation, minimising the good things you do and dwelling on your mistakes)

   i) Taking things personally (thinking that everything others do is about you.  Blaming yourself for someone being upset or for circumstances that are beyond your control)

   j) Unreal ideal (comparing yourself to others. It makes you feel not good enough)

2. Explore the benefit you get from this thought (self-protective benefit? Escape from responsibility?)

3. Challenge the thought (what would you tell your friend if they were having this thought?)

   a) Reframe the thought (look at the problem from a different perspective)

   b) Falsify it. Look for exceptions to this thought

   c) Try to see both sides of the situation (good/bad, pros/cons)

   d) Rephrase the thought with more specific wording (“I'm always making mistakes” ⇒ “I made a mistake by not setting boundaries. I will remember to set boundaries next time”)

   e) Try to think the opposite of that thought. (What action would that motivate?)

   f) How would your life be different if you stopped believing that thought? 

EXERCISE # 7: NEUROLINGUISTIC PROGRAMING TECHNIQUE (NLP) 

This exercise helps you clarify your limiting beliefs in a specific area then visualise having a desired outcome (which gives you a taste of the rewarding feeling that comes with achievement) then it guides you to walk back and figure out the steps needed to reach that outcome. It’s great for breaking down a desired action into smaller, more manageable steps.

1. What do you want to do?

2. What is stopping you?

3. What would it be like if it were possible? (have others achieved similar goals?)

4. What would it be like if it were possible for you?

5. What would make it possible for you?

OR 

Imagine you already achieved what you wanted, what did you have to do in order to achieve it?

SEE YOU NEXT WEEK FOR PART V

DISCLAIMER: I take no commission from any of the above programs. I am sharing them because I have personally tried them and found them beneficial and I am hoping you would benefit from them too.

Disclaimer: All  information provided by Abir Ballan is solely intended for educational purposes and is not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Abir Ballan is a Health Coach and a certified NLP and Time Line Therapy Practitioner. She has a Masters in Public Health, a Graduate Degree in Special Needs Education and a BA in Psychology. She is a children’s author with 27 published books.