PART V: LIMITING BELIEFS AND HOW TO OVERCOME THEM

LETTING GO OF NEGATIVE THOUGHTS AND REPLACING THEM WITH POSITIVE ONES

CATCH UP ON PART I, PART II, PART III AND PART IV

So far we have learned how to identify limiting beliefs, understand their root causes, identify when we are triggered, shift from the stress response to the rest response, and challenge limiting beliefs. Today, I will share with you how to let go of your negative thoughts and finally replace them with positive ones.

EXERCISE # 8: COGNITIVE DEFUSION 

Sometimes, when it seems like you are just fighting with your own thoughts to get rid of them, it may get very tiring. It’s one thing to challenge your negative thoughts, it’s another to stay in the ring with them. It may put you in flight or fight mode and be very counterproductive. In this case, it may be useful to practise cognitive defusion.

The cognitive defusion technique is based on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). It is meant to help you notice your thoughts, separate yourself from them and learn to live with them. Instead of buying into your thoughts and seeing the world through the ‘glasses’ of your thoughts, you learn to observe your thoughts and let them go. This in turn frees up your mind to shift attention to thoughts that are more inline with your values and purpose.

The Leaves on a Stream exercise combines mindfulness practice (as you are focusing on your physical sensation in the moment), and pinning your thoughts to a tangible object (leaf), then watching them go down the stream of water.

Try this video: Leaves on stream By Emma Mcadam

HOW CAN YOU REPLACE YOUR NEGATIVE THOUGHTS WITH POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS?

Your brain can’t just stop thinking. If you are trying to eliminate negative thoughts, it’s important to replace them with positive affirmations. 

Positive Affirmations are positive statements about yourself, either as compliments/encouragements from others or thoughts in your heads. Our brains operate with a strong negativity bias. This allows us to spot trouble and increases our chances of survival. Any negative thought gets amplified by our brain to make it louder. It takes three positive thoughts to counteract a negative one (This also applies to relationships. It takes three positive interactions to counteract a negative interaction and maintain a happy relationship). Imagine only hearing negative voices in your head all day. What kind of negative self-fulfilling prophecy will this set you up for? Now imagine counteracting these negative voices with positive ones. You will start to feel better slowly but surely.

If you are not very comfortable saying nice things to yourself, the following two exercises may help you get into the habit by strengthening the positive self-talk neural pathways in your brain.

EXERCISE # 9: AFFIRMING HYPNOSIS

During the night, your brain mulls over the last thoughts you have before you sleep. 

Through affirming hypnosis, your subconscious will listen to and internalise affirming messages while you sleep. Try these videos by the Mindful Movement:

Let go of negativity and unlock your full potential 

Letting go of limiting beliefs and the past

Develop confidence, self-worth and success while you sleep 

EXERCISE # 10: AFFIRMING MEDITATION

Affirming meditation will help increase the ratio of positive to negative thoughts and will set you up on a positive self-fulfilling prophecy. 

(Just watch out not to slip into narcissism by accident 😉 )

5 min Morning Affirmation Meditation with Kassandra

5 min Monday Morning Affirmation Meditation with Kassandra (There is one for every day)

(see PART III)

We all need to do the work covered in Parts I to V of this series in order to become better versions of ourselves and get in touch with our true essence– before having formed false beliefs about ourselves, others and life. Think of all the above exercises as tools in your emotional toolbox. Using them regularly will set you on an upward spiral of self-improvement and self-fulfilment. 

Human flourishing is achieved when we each individually thrive. 

DISCLAIMER: I take no commission from any of the above programs. I am sharing them because I have personally tried them and found them beneficial and I am hoping you would benefit from them too.

Disclaimer: All  information provided by Abir Ballan is solely intended for educational purposes and is not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Abir Ballan is a Health Coach and a certified NLP and Time Line Therapy Practitioner. She has a Masters in Public Health, a Graduate Degree in Special Needs Education and a BA in Psychology. She is a children’s author with 27 published books.