PART V: WHAT CAN YOU DO TO FEEL GOOD?
OPEN UP YOUR SOUL TO THE WHOLE
CATCH UP ON PART I, PART II, PART III, PART IV
In Part I to IV, I covered regulating your nervous system, improving relationships and gave you lots of tips and tricks to help you feel good.
In this substack, I delve into philosophy.
How can your philosophy in life make you feel better?
14. Live a life of virtue
In Aristotelian ethics, Eudaimonia is a Greek word that means “living well” or in more modern terms, human flourishing or well-being.
It is interesting to see that a recent definition of the concept of human flourishing includes ‘character and virtue’. According to a 2017 paper, Human flourishing is determined by the following factors: happiness and life satisfaction, physical and mental health, meaning and purpose, character and virtue, close social relationship and financial and material stability.
Back to Aristotle…
Eudaimonia is the highest human good. It is achieved when humans fulfil their function of being human by acting rationally, in line with virtues and constantly striving to be the best version of ourselves.
(Not as easy as Aristotle makes it sound!)
Virtues lie at the Golden Mean (should be called Median really)- the midpoint between two extremes: excess and deficiency. The latter two are both vices.
For example, courage lies between cowardice and rashness.
Consider taking this crash course in Aristotelian Virtue Ethics.
Aristotle’s four cardinal virtues are: prudence (wisdom/ good judgement), temperance (moderation, voluntary self-restraint), fortitude (endure pain) and justice.
Find more virtues here.
If you’re still unsure how to be virtuous, Aristotle recommends that you find a Moral Exemplar (a person with good character or practical wisdom) and emulate them until you develop virtuous habits.
In the modern-day positive psychology field, virtues have been renamed as character strengths that are universally valued. Take this test to discover your strengths (or more accurately where you are on the spectrum of each strength). Building your strengths will allow you to become the best version of yourself which will enable you to achieve your aspirations and lead a more meaningful life. In other words, character strengths lead to human flourishing.
15. Be stoic
Like Aristotle before them, the Stoics –Zeno, Epictetus, Seneca and Marcus Aurelius– believed that living the best possible human life is achievable through a life of virtue. The stoics also believed that the best way to care for ourselves and the world around us is to live in line with nature which imbues structure, order and wholeness.
Unlike Aristotle, the stoics believed that happiness does not depend at all on bodily or external factors such as friends, health, wealth or status. They call the latter preferred indifferents (it’s good to have them but they are not necessary for happiness). Being hyper focused on acquiring the latter can be cause for unhappiness.
The first highlight of the stoic philosophy is the distinction between matters of human agency and matters of fate. In order to live in peace and a sense of integrity, you ought to act upon the first and accept the latter.
“The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own . . .” — Epictetus
The second highlight is perspective. Your interpretation and value judgement of events in your life determine how you feel and how you behave. Changing how you think about an event can change your experience.
“We suffer not from the events in our lives, but from our judgement about them.” Epictetus
Watch this video: Ten lessons from Stoicism to keep calm (it’s a good summary)
a) Clarify your locus of control
Take a situation that is troubling you. Draw a table with two columns. List the aspects you can control and the aspects outside your control. What small actions can you take to influence what’s under your control? Choose one small action to get you started. Do it to the best of your abilities (within your control) and don’t worry about the outcome (outside your control).
b) Be a Surfer
Accept the things you can’t control like the direction of the wind and the height of the waves. Sometimes you just have to roll with the waves instead of resisting them. When things go against your plans, use it as a learning opportunity (Build your strengths for the future). Maybe in time you will see the blessing in disguise.
Next week, I will share with you two tangible tools that will set you on the right track towards feeling good and living a good life. Stay tuned to PART VI.
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DISCLAIMER: I take no commission from any of the above programs. I am sharing them because I have personally tried them and found them beneficial and I am hoping you would benefit from them too.
DISCLAIMER: All information provided by Abir Ballan is solely intended for educational purposes and is not a substitute for expert advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Abir Ballan has a Masters in Public Health, a graduate degree in special needs education and a BA in psychology. She is a children’s author with 27 published books.