WHAT DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE ABOUT YOUR LIFE AND HOW YOU CAN STAY MOTIVATED
If you are disgruntled at the state of the world and you feel that you can’t change it, you are probably right but remember, the world changes when individuals change themselves and focus on their circle of influence (their family and local community).
In order to figure out what you want to change about your life, first you need to figure out what you value, how you want to lead your life and what kind of impact you want to leave on the world.
Write your ideal epitaph
What would you like to be engraved on your tombstone?
What did you have to do in your life to earn that epitaph?
life crafting exercise
Life crafting is “a process in which people actively reflect on their present and future life, set goals for important areas of life—social, career, and leisure time—and, if required, make concrete plans and undertake actions to change these areas in a way that is more congruent with their values and wishes.” (Schippers and Ziegler, 2019). This exercise boosts the sense of self-determination and has been shown to produce the following benefits:
Higher academic achievement/ lower school dropout, higher career achievement, emotional well being, meaning and purpose in life, better health outcomes, longevity.
Try the life crafting exercise in this pdf.
Clarify your values
A life inspired by what you value is a life worth living. Find out what you value most in life: Who do you want to be? What kind of life do you want to lead? Then decide on the small steps you will take in that direction. Your sense of integrity will flourish once your actions are inline with your values. Keeping the promises you make to yourself is the best route to self-respect.
Try this exercise provided by Therapy in a Nutshell. Watch this video and download the Clarify Your Values Workbook.
Start with the easiest smallest change. (Attempting a major change all at once is setting yourself up for failure)
You are multifaceted like a diamond. Consider small changes in different areas of your life (work, family/social life, physical and mental health, spiritual life)
Stay within your zone of proximal development (ZPD) (a little bit challenging but not overwhelming or frustrating). Your ZPD is determined by the relationship between the difficulty of the task and your ability level.
You can attempt tasks in your ZPD by breaking them down into small parts and getting guidance and encouragement from others.
Make yourself a promise. Write “I will …” statements
Set SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time bound). e.g., “I will walk for 30 min every day”, “I will practise mindfulness 5 times every day”, “I will eliminate processed food from my home”…)
Make a public commitment to your goal. Tell your friends, colleagues, and family about your new lifestyle or your mission in life. Maybe ask them to support you or nudge you if you like that
Build your tribe of like-minded people. It is much easier to change with others. Recruit some friends or family members to join you on your journey (e.g., walking buddies, Yogi friends, family healthy picnics…)
Be regular. Put it in your schedule. It takes 30 days to form a new habit
Track your progress and enjoy the rewarding feeling (dopamine boost) of small achievements
(eg, make a table 30x 6 with 30 days and 5 mindfulness breaks per day. Tick every time you do your practice)
Create a system to make the change easy for yourself (e.g., set reminders, combine it with another activity you already do (e.g., combine mindfulness practice with waking up, going to sleep, eating or bathroom breaks…)
Make some environmental modification to make the change easy for yourself (e.g., make only healthy food options available at home, create a mindfulness nook in your home, delete social media from your phone, remove notifications- they are too disturbing to your peace of mind)
Remember the purpose behind your desired change (e.g., “I want to exercise to stay independent in old age”, “I want to regulate my nervous system to feel good and improve my relationships”...
Visualise that you have achieved your desired results. What does it feel like? This will boost your dopamine and help you stay on track
Cut out the reward for procrastinating. When you skip your workout out of laziness, do the dishes instead of choosing an enjoyable activity like watching a movie
Exercise self-compassion. When you fall short of your expectations, forgive yourself and keep going or redeem yourself by making up for it
Remember, the world is a better place when we are each individually a better version of ourselves.
My mission is to help improve the health and wellbeing of one million people. Please help me mobilise humanity towards personal agency by sharing my work.
Disclaimer: All information provided by Abir Ballan is solely intended for educational purposes and is not a substitute for expert advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Abir Ballan has a Masters in Public Health, a graduate degree in special needs education and a BA in psychology. She is a children’s author with 27 published books.